Sufferance
by Arigatomina
Summary: Yaoi, AU, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4. Six years ago a demon was let loose and it started a war. Now, the war is over, Duo has recaptured the monster. But it wants out, and it will do anything to tear him down. It's up to his new friends to help hi
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: Don't groan, please? I know...she's at it again . But I swear! I'm liking this idea more than I did *G-men* and I really like that fic. Please, just read the first part, then, if you're sick, or if you stopped with the pairings...heh-heh...then I'll shut up and leave you alone. I *have* to share this...I have no choice. (I've finally come to the conclusion that I have *no* muse...just me and my quirky bouts of inspiration. This came to me while I was working...at Holliday World! Read the part, you'll understand how odd that is...)  
Category: AU, Gundam Wing  
Pairings: will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4  
Warnings: minor angst at best  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.fanfiction.net  
  
Sufferance  
  
Prologue  
  
***date???***  
  
"You are certain of this?" The man's voice was low, his dark eyes darting again to the door through which he could hear low moans and the sound of someone moving.  
  
"I know he *believes* he is possessed by something," the priest said softly, his wide eyes damp. "We've done everything we can for him, we tried to convince him he was deluded. That's when the marks appeared."  
  
"Let me see them. If it *is* a case, I'll begin immediately."  
  
The priest nodded quickly, but he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket when he reached for the doornob. "The temperature fluxuates. It was so hot I had to undress him earlier, then it dropped to below freezing. In a matter of seconds."  
  
"That's a sign," the other man said, his hands curling around his bible as he straightened his dark sash. "Open the door, Father."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
As soon as the door opened, the sounds inside the room stopped, and the tall man's eyes widened when candles suddenly burst into flames around the room. They were everywhere, but the only occupant was still on the bed, his face an expression of missery as he didn't move. A glance at the priest showed that this was nothing out of the normal, and he raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"He kept saying it wanted out. That he has to keep it in, but it wants out." The man's face was pale, and he stared at the floor, making no move to enter the room. "I cannot go in."  
  
"Stay, then." The tall man took three steps forward, and he couldn't stop himself from jumping lightly when the door slammed shut behind him. Then the figure on the bed let out a scream and he stared at him. He'd seen pictures of the boy, knew he was not more than nine years old, but the mass of hair on the bed was almost abnormally long. And the boy's muscles were tensed so much that the cloths tying him down seemed to be straining from the tension in them.  
  
"NO! I won't let go! I won't let you--"  
  
The man swallowed sharply as the boy's scream was cut off, his thin body clenching as he moaned from what sounded like horrible pain. "Duo..." The name came to him easily as he'd heard much about the case before he'd decided to check on if for himself. At his whisper, the boy stilled, and he opened his eyes. They glowed with a violet light that made him want to run for the door.  
  
"Please...don't let it out..." The boy choked, and then his expression changed suddenly, his eyes dimming as a small smile curved his lips. "I don't know what's wrong with me," the boy said, his voice completely changed as he sighed. "The Father told me I have a split personality, but I can't seem to help myself. Please, you could help me, couldn't you?"  
  
Blinking at the abrupt change, the man walked to the edge of the bed, noting the clear gaze as the boy turned his head to look at him. "You want me to do this, then? And how would it help? If it isn't a demon, then why would you need this?"  
  
"Because nothing else has worked," Duo remarked, his smile sad as he closed his eyes. "And I scare myself."   
  
It was lying. This much was obvious, and the man found himself focusing on the boy's hands, those thin wrists tied securely to the bed posts. His hands were clenched so tightly that the knuckles had turned white. "Who are you?"  
  
"You're quick, I'll give you that." The formerly cheerful voice grew soft, and Duo's smile was evil. "You don't need to know my name, he hasn't given me one yet. But he will. Once you free him, of course."  
  
"Free him...the boy..."  
  
Duo gasped suddenly, his body shaking and he blinked rapidly before gazing at the man standing beside him. Violet eyes widened. "Oh no...please no...." The man's gaze was dim, but his movements were fluid as he slowly opened the book he held. "Wake up! Stop!" The man's soft voice made his body burn, and Duo screamed as he pulled uselessly at the straps holding him down. "You don't know what you're doing! Stop! I won't let you *do* this!" The man didn't so much as blink, then the boy felt it, lifting from him, that presence. "NO! I won't let you go!!!"  
  
It was the unearthly scream that made the priest enter the room, and he had to leap back as the door was blown off its hinges. Then he gave a cry of terror as he stared at the boy. His face was ashen, his expression one of extreme effort, and his hands were curled in front of him, the straps hanging limp from his wrists. Palms facing his neck, Duo's head was tilted back so his closed eyes were raised to the ceiling, and he was shaking. But he wasn't breathing.  
  
"Duo!?" The priest ran forward, bypassing the tall man, whose words still flowed out, echoing in the room. The screeches somehow quieter than them, and they weren't coming from the boy. He didn't think as he reached the boy who sat on the bed, and he slapped him with all the strength in his body. The sound was like a thunderclap, then the ceiling blew outward and two males cowered from the deafening laughter, the third dead when he hit the floor.  
  
"Oh God...I tried...so...hard...I'm sorry..." The light blue sky visible through the gaping roof grew dark, purplish black storm clouds churning suddenly. "Forgive me...? Please..."  
  
***6yrs, 6mnths, 6days later--actual date?--don't know yet...***  
  
The wars had started with a suddenness that was uncanny, but those left alive afterward were too stricken to wonder what had gone wrong. No nation was spared as even those who refused to choose sides were cleared with the growing chaos. Atomic bombs did most of the damage, as it seemed even the smaller seemingly weak countries suddenly found themselves with the weapons. In the beginning, it was as if a madness had come over the people, those few who were left with the ability to think rationally were either snuffed or sent into hiding. The rest were blood-thirsty, and they annihalated their enemies.  
  
Then, six and a half years later, the war was suddenly over. No one knew what had ended it any more than why it had started in the first place, but the ravaged remains of the world's cities were searched slowly by the survivors. And slowly, the remaining population was gathered together. So few, and without their technology, even these died as people were lost to simple sickness and accidents. But there were survivors, and some were leaders. Some...were the ones who'd driven the war on...and these were the ones who came to rule what was left of the world.  
  
* * *  
TBC  
  
Category: AU, Gundam Wing  
Pairings: will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4  
Warnings: reference to angst  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.fanfiction.net  
  
Sufferance  
  
Part 1  
  
He really didn't know what to expect, but the building was in surprisingly good condition for having survived the six year war. Of course, Heero was certain it had really been rebuilt, but he could still tell that it had once been used as some sort of restraining facility. The fact that it was circled by a sixteen foot electrified fence spoke much of the type of facility it was. The armed guards also told a tale. But then, he didn't really question the control, as the same was happening all over the world. People his age had to be protected. This was what he'd been told when he'd been escorted across the seas on a horribly antiquated ship. While he hadn't seen any of the much-talked-about-rebels, he didn't doubt that they existed. What he doubted was that he'd be safer in the hands of the people who sought to protect him. And he didn't need the protection.  
  
Little choice he had, though, since the men with him kept him under guard, guns that had somehow managed to survive as well. And from the looks of them, they had enough ammo to be completely unworried about one fifteen year old boy. They didn't even know he could speak their language, assuming that since he'd been found in Japan, that was the only language he knew. Luckily for him, he'd been taught well in the last five years. The war had prepared him for this, for the pain of a questionable peace after a massacre.  
  
Heero quickly found that he'd overestimated his new protectors, they were anything but ordered and nothing was said to him as he was given a push. He didn't stumble, and he turned his head to stare at the man who'd prodded him into the doorway, only to find that the door had already been shut. Then he turned to look at the people he'd been thrown in with. They were children.  
  
Actually, they were all around his age, and he could tell by their different appearances that they'd been found all over the world. While he expected them to peruse him as he was them, only one or two of the multitude looked up, the others focused on the food they ate. They were seated at long tables that were lined up in the large room, and Heero wondered if it wasn't some sort of cafeteria. There were no adults in evidence and the Japanese boy was at a complete loss as to what he should do. Standing in the doorway didn't seem to be the answer, but he didn't want to join the others.  
  
He blinked when a tall boy walked to him, and he turned his head to look him over. His form was slender, and he was dressed in a dark grey turtleneck and pale jeans. Heero couldn't tell what origin he was, but green eyes met him with an ease that made him raise an eyebrow. The boy's reddish brown hair was odd, short yet long in the front as it hung down to nearly cover half of his face.  
  
"I'm supposed to ask you to join us," the tall boy said, his voice monotone as he stared at the dark-haired boy. "Will you join us?"  
  
Heero blinked sharply, frowning at the boy. Then he followed a long-fingered hand as the boy gestured toward the back of the room and he spotted a table that was more empty than any of the others. There were three boys sitting at it, and they were watching him. "If I say no?" he asked, his cobalt blue eyes narrowing.  
  
"Then you say no," the tall boy murmured. He turned, and walked back to the table, not glancing behind him.  
  
Heero stared after him. He couldn't figure out what had just happened, but he suddenly found himself following the tall boy. It would do him no good to stand, and he was curious despite himself. Green eyes glinted briefly as the boy sat, and Heero moved to the bench across from the four youths.   
  
"Thank you, Trowa."  
  
He stared at the blonde boy who'd spoken, his mind jotting down the name as he took in the one who'd spoken. Rather pale, the boy looked to be a head shorter as the tall boy, Trowa, sat beside him, and his pale blue-green eyes were clear of any hostility as he met Heero's gaze.   
  
"Hi, I'm Quatre." Smiling, the blonde boy shook his head. "I didn't want you to just stand over there by yourself, I remember how I felt when they first brought me here."  
  
"Where are you from?" Heero noticed that the boy didn't seem at all bothered by his cold voice, and he blinked when the blonde smiled at him.  
  
"Arabia. You wouldn't have guessed, right?" Quatre smiled wider when the boy looked doubtful, and he sighed. "No one ever believes it when I tell them, but I *am* Arabic."  
  
"And you're Japanese, right? I've never met anyone from Japan before."  
  
Heero frowned as his eyes moved to the boy seated to Quatre's right, and he raised an eyebrow at the boy's cheerful smile. "Yes. Heero Yuy."  
  
"The name's Duo," the long-haired boy smiled. "Duo Maxwell, at your service. And I'll be the first to welcome you to what I've dubbed...Alcatraz."   
  
The name was lost on him, but Heero was caught as the boy laughed, violet eyes sparkling merrily. Then the black haired boy sitting beside Duo jabbed him sharply in the side and the long-haired boy winced with more pain than the gesture called for.  
  
"Damnit Wufei!" Glaring at the boy, Duo rubbed his side, then flushed when he noticed the new boy's gaze. "This is Chang Wufei. But he goes by Wufei. He's Chinese."  
  
"And you're an idiot," Wufei said coldly, his black eyes narrowing as he stared at the boy beside him. He'd only meant the blow as a mild reproof for acting immature, but Duo's reaction brought a always present anger to the surface. "What did you do, Duo, hit yourself?" The violet eyed boy flinched back, looking down sharply. "Why do you keep doing that?"  
  
Heero kept his expression blank, but his eyes moved between the two boys. Then the long-haired boy stood quickly.  
  
"You're a real bastard..."  
  
Wufei flinched, but his glare doubled and he watched as Duo moved away from the table, his black clothing disappearing as some of the others were now standing in groups and talking together. "Damn him..." He turned slowly, his teeth grinding together at Quatre's reproachful glare, and he nodded when he saw Heero watching him. "He hurts himself. He's been doing it since I came here, but it's gotten worse lately."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Quatre sighed and shook his head. "We don't know why, he won't say. I don't even know how he does it. I mean, we're with him most of the time, and he couldn't go anywhere at night without waking us up."  
  
"His nightmares wake us up," Wufei said, nodding to Heero. He wasn't at all bothered to be telling about his comrade, as he already knew the Japanese boy was a part of their group. As friendly as Quatre was, he'd never asked anyone else to join them before. "Quatre and Trowa have been here for at least a month, but Duo came two weeks ago, a day or so before I did. If he hadn't tried to kill himself we wouldn't have known what he was doing."  
  
Quatre had his head bowed, but Trowa's gaze was steady and Heero looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "And he failed?" He'd tried to kill himself before, but that had been as a weapon, and his death would have furthered his side. Never had he thought to end his life without a good reason.  
  
"I don't think he really wanted to die," Quatre whispered. When he looked up, his eyes were damp. "He said he didn't do it and...I believe him."  
  
"Right," Wufei glared, sneering at the blonde boy. "Someone else came into the dorm and slit his wrists. That's what you're saying."   
  
He wanted to snarl at his friend, but Quatre held himself in check. They hadn't known the American long, but he'd managed to get to all of them, and the blonde boy was certain the reason Wufei was so cold was because he liked Duo. "He didn't have a razor, not even a knife."  
  
"And he had wrapped his blanket around the cuts," Trowa said, his eyes boring into Heero's. Quatre was certain Duo hadn't been lying, and after seeing the evidence for himself, Trowa knew the incident hadn't been a mere attempted suicide. The long-haired boy had been in a panic and he'd been terrified of dying. "He woke us up to help him."  
  
"I'm surprised they didn't lock him up," Heero said slowly. "They're supposed to be protecting us. Even from ourselves."  
  
"They would have," Wufei said, his gaze still dark with anger. "If we'd told anyone. We don't actually see much of the adults. They bring us supplies and lock the doors so we can't get out, but they don't interfere with us."  
  
"Where is this dorm? Is that and this room the only places we have access to?"  
  
Trowa's eyes narrowed as he looked at Heero, and his mouth curved into a smirk. "You were a part of the war, weren't you."  
  
It wasn't a question, but Heero nodded anyway. "Yes, I was."  
  
"Wufei and I were, too," the tall boy said, his visible eye glinting. "Quatre's family were pascifists, so he didn't participate. And we don't know what Duo did during the war. But he's an American."  
  
"I noticed. The war started in America." Heero didn't react when Quatre's suddenly wary eyes flew to him, but he saw that the Chinese boy was glaring at him.  
  
"Blame Duo for the war and I'll kill you."  
  
He was usually the one saying that to his enemies, and Heero actually smirked at the black-haired boy's dark glare. "I'm not. And you couldn't kill me, Wufei. You'd lose your life trying."  
  
"Please don't fight," Quatre said softly, his eyes moving between the two boys. "I hate it, the war is *over*."  
  
"Maybe," Trowa nodded, moving his arm around the slender boy as he gave his shoulder a light squeeze. "It should be. There aren't enough people left to fight anymore."  
  
"Besides," the blonde boy said, his eyes on the table. "Duo already blames himself for the war. I just can't figure out why..."  
  
"It's stupid," Wufei said scathingly. "He's fifteen, our age. He'd have been nine when the war started, ten at the oldest. It's a weakness of his and it makes me sick to my stomach." He glared at Heero, leaning forward. "So if you do *anything* to make him think there's *reason* behind his blaming himself, I'll make you regret it. Maybe I *can't* kill you, but you will be sorry."  
  
"Don't make me repeat myself," Heero said back, not the least bit bothered. He'd seen people defend their friends before, it was evident where the boy's anger came from. "I don't blame him, American or not. Everyone who participated is responsible for the war, if he didn't fight than you, Trowa, and I are more to blame than him."  
  
"That's right."  
  
Quatre smiled at the way the two boys were watching each other as it was obvious they were in agreement. "I wish Duo could hear you say that. You shouldn't have run him off, Wufei."  
  
"Do you expect me to sit back while he does it?" Wufei asked, glaring again as his mind returned to the previous subject. "Forget it. You can accept it as a fact if that's what you want," the blonde boy grew sad, but Wufei's eyes only narrowed more, "but I won't. Not until he stops."  
  
"Quatre, go ahead." Trowa knew the others didn't understand what he was talking about, but he could feel how tense the boy was under his arm. "Go find him, I know you want to." The blonde smiled at him, and his patient expression softened a bit as a swift kiss was pressed to his cheek before the boy stood quickly.  
  
"Okay. Heero? I'll see you later, right? They'll show you around." Quatre smiled again as the dark-haired boy nodded, then he turned and crossed the crowded room. Knowing Duo, he'd find him in the dorm. Aside from that, the bathing facilities, and the outdoor excercise area, there wasn't anywhere else he could be.  
  
The dorm was rather empty, and Quatre passed a few closed doors, the others left open to the hall. It was nice to have separate wings, and as much as it had surprised him originally, he now took the slight privacy they had for granted. As it was, there were only five cots in the room he and his friends had chosen, luck was on their side. //With Heero, we won't have to worry about them sending someone else in with us. And Heero won't tell. I know he won't.// Their largest worry had been that someone outside of their room would notice the cries that sounded at night. But the walls were too thick, and so far they'd been able to hide Duo's nightly torment.  
  
The door to their room was open a bit, and Quatre slowed, stopping outside as he could hear a soft voice muttering something. He knew it was Duo, and he listened, hoping to learn more about the boy. As he'd told the others, he believed the American when he'd said he never lied, and if someone was hurting him, as impossible as it seemed, Quatre was determined to find out who.   
  
"I'm stronger than you...*that* doesn't matter, why don't you get it? I'll never let you go. You won't get free...No, never again..."  
  
Quatre bit his lip hard, his eyes burning as he realized the boy was talking to himself. It was worse than he'd thought. While he'd lived a sheltered childhood before the war, he'd seen more than his share of the madness, and he knew it was bad when a person talked to himself. Especially since Duo seemed to be having a silent conversation and the blonde boy could only hear one side of it. //I should do something...go in there...something...//  
  
"I *don't* hate him! No!"  
  
The muted groan was too much, and Quatre moved quickly, shoving the door open. Duo was sitting on his bed, his fists curled beneath his chin, and the boy gasped roughly, slightly glazed eyes snapping in his direction. Shaking his head, the blonde boy didn't know what to say. "Duo..."  
  
"Quatre." Clearing his throat, the violet-eyed boy managed a weak smile, and his hands falling limp to his lap. "Hi, there."  
  
"What's happening to you? Can't you tell me?" The boy's eyes widened, and Quatre stepped forward, sitting lightly beside the boy. "Duo, you know you can trust me."  
  
"Ah...Quatre." Duo smirked, looking at the boy with a wistfull expression. "It's like Wufei said, I'm an idiot. And I'm insane, but we already knew that, right?" The blonde's eyes looked suspiciously bright, and he shook his head. "Don't worry about it."  
  
"I *have* to worry," Quatre said roughly, resisting the urge to shake the boy. //I can't even touch him! I might hit a bruise...// "That's *who* I am. You're my friend."  
  
//I had a friend once...for six years...//  
  
The boy beside him had bowed his head, and Quatre gasped as a tear suddenly slipped down Duo's cheek. Suddenly, it didn't matter how he touched him, and he wrapped his arms around the long-haired boy, holding him close. "Duo, let me help you?"  
  
"I can't," Duo said sofly, marveling in the boy's warm touch. "I can't let anything happen to you. You're *my* friend too...all of you."  
  
"Including me?"  
  
Duo jerked away from Quatre, flushing and glaring as he saw the three boys standing in the doorway. "You're not high on my list right now, Wufei." The Chinese boy raised an eyebrow, but Duo didn't think he was upset. The Japanese boy was staring at him, and he flushed a bit more as he knew they would have told him. "Hey, Heero. Guess you heard *all* about psychotic Duo, eh? Well, it's nothing that didn't happen during the war, so get over it." Cobalt eyes continued to meet his, not so much as blinking and Duo frowned. "Have you seen the yard, yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
The boy's voice wasn't condescending, or condemning, and Duo smirked suddenly. "Let's go for a walk, guys. Show Heero the sites. After all, he's new here."  
  
* * *  
TBC  
--notes--  
I know there have been fics about Duo having demons in his head, I've read a trully *excellent* one. But I'm *not* stealing that person's idea. I swear! This fic isn't like that one at all. In fact, this fic was inspired not by a different fic, but by the *bible* of all places. Not that I read the bible...with all of its little known tales of how horrible humans can be...and those stories that you never hear from members of the church since they want to keep their congregation from knowing about them.... ::looks at ceiling, whistling loudly:: Ahem! Anyway...as I was saying, this isn't like those other fics. I've put my spin on the entire idea, and I don't care if it's been done before or not because I can *guarantee* it hasn't been done like *this* before. God, I *hope* not. I think this is my most original idea yet, even if it does seem old to me for some reason...I guess I've always thought about an end of the world story and you'll see...this is sort of like that. Anyway, I don't want to give *everything* away. I'll just say that this fic will have lots of angst in it, plenty of lemons, a *romantic* threesome (a first for me since I'm a devote 1x2 lover and I used to *hate* 5x2, but...it works...it really really works...), lots of Duo torture, maybe some Quatre torture (not sure yet but I think so), some odd stuff, demons and religion, some bad guys resembling something from Mad Max (anyone know that movie? I think I saw one or two of them, but it was a *long* time ago), and whatever else my odd mind thinks up. On a different note, no, this place they're at isn't just for boys, I just don't care about the other kids there and I'm pretty sure the GW girls *won't* be showing up in this fic. And it isn't a school, more like a comfy concentration camp (is that an oxymoron???). Anyway, I'd really like some feedback for this. I think it's gonna be a really cool fic. And I'll figure out what that date is at the very beginning soon, I just have to get a book that my mom has at her workplace and that may take a day or so. I couldn't wait to post this. And *no*, Duo did *not* I repeat *not* attempt suicide...not in *this* fic. Again, feedback? Anyone want me to write more? I kinda want to...but it'll be angsty...and...odd...I love this fic idea!!! ::gasps:: Okay...I'm going now...  
  
  



	2. Part 2

Category: AU, Gundam Wing, Yaoi   
Pairings: Will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4   
Warnings: slight violence, minor angst, shonen ai   
Author: Arigatomina   
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com   
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina   
  
Sufferance   
  
Part 2   
  
The grass was drenched and black, cold water reaching his ankles but not hiding the tips of scorched blades. His toes curled in the slime, but he couldn't move from the spot. The ground was sloped on all sides, a bowl of earth that lifted till the murky sky was all that he could see above it, dark clouds outlined with churning green. Rancid smoke curled at the edge of his view, tendrils creeping down and he sank to his knees, unable to flee. Icy gusts jerked his loose hair when he ducked his head, then the gray blanket closed above him, the smell of rotting flesh mixed with the smoke making his eyes water. His hand clutched the tiny cross hanging at his neck, and violet eyes grew calm as he waited.   
  
His heart was racing in his chest, shivers coursing through his bare frame, but he wasn't as terrified as it wanted him to be. The landscape had changed, as always, but eventually the darkness lost its power. He would have been cowed more if it came to him beneath a blue sky with the sun beating down. That was just one more thing it never understood. Weight struck him, cloth pressing his back and he bit back a startled cry, the fingers of his right hand curling about the arm that snaked around him. He could feel it leaning closer and he turned his head away, unwilling to see what form it had taken. As many years as he'd known it and never once had he seen its true form. Like malice, it assumed any form with no natural shape, and it played with him by using those few people he loved. It was a genius at manipulation. Teeth snapped shut over his shoulder and his gasp caught in his throat. Pain was a blaze of fire, but it didn't cut him but rather ground its teeth against bone, the most pain with least injury.   
  
It wouldn't kill him. During the day, he was able to converse with it, its power diminished by alertness. Pure strength reigned with his focused attention, only when his guard dropped could it take him to these worlds. But even awake, he couldn't force answers from it. He could push, sometimes, and it would tell him what hurt to hear, what couldn't help. But he had learned to see the meaning behind its actions and he knew it wouldn't kill him. It was loath to. Once only had it tried, and he knew something had stopped it. He'd felt a fear that almost surpassed his own. Weak from the blood that drained from him, he'd been unable to stir, yet it hadn't fled his loosened body, it had been unable to exit without consent. And it had saved him, kept him alive. Never since had it been so reckless in its torment, and he wondered if it didn't fear hell as much as he did.   
  
Tears burned his closed eyes as those teeth gnawed at his back, and he could feel silky hair pressing his skin. A smooth hand rubbed his back, the fingers digging into him as that arm tightened around his waist, inhuman strength. It was a test he always failed and a low groan escaped his clenched teeth, laughter beating him as the head lifted. He felt it rest the chin of its stolen body on his shoulder and he longed to shove it away. But he knew better. Any movement on his part was an invitation for more and he couldn't risk it. All it needed was a word, a release that he couldn't give. Wetness lapped at his neck and he cringed, helpless to hold the condemning whimper that bubbled out of his mouth.   
  
The signal was given, his resistance broken for the moment and its lilting voice whispered to him. There was no touch of air against him and tears escaped his eyes, as he knew whose body it had taken. Only with a living form did it have the semblance of life, even though the form wasn't real. The body holding him had no pulse, cold and still.   
  
"Do I use him too often?"   
  
He flinched, despising the knowledge that it was in his head, even when it took shape outside of him. //It's old. I thought Satan was more original than that.// Time had taught him that taunting it didn't result in more pain. It seemed to relish in arguing, and he encouraged that. He was proud of the icy tone he put into his thoughts.   
  
"I'm not a fallen angel, Duo, if I were you would free me."   
  
//Never.// Cold hands framed his face and he held his eyes closed as he was turned to face it. If he looked, he wouldn't be able to think.   
  
"Oh, but you would," it murmured. "Because even a fallen angel is closer to God than you, and you know that well. You assume the debt for every life I have taken, and the number surpasses even his count." Wetness touched its hands, and it licked the boy's cheeks. Despite its human form, it couldn't taste the salt, but the warmth was felt and pale lips curved into a grin. Duo thought he was accustomed to enduring the torment, but it could read into his mind and it knew each night was wearing him down. The boy's contact with his new friends was giving birth to a change in tactics, but it would wait. "Why are your eyes closed?" A sob shook him and it grinned wider. He thought he was used to it, but his love never failed to rip him. "You long to see him again, yet you will not look."   
  
He hated it, he wanted to be left alone so badly, and it knew that. The laughter that echoed in his ears mocked him as it knew what he wouldn't say. One word, all he had to do was speak or think, and it would acknowledge his request. It would leave him alone, and more people would die. //You can look like him as much as you want. But what good will it do you? I know he's dead, you can't hurt him any more.//   
  
"Then open your eyes, Duo." He did, and it stared at him. So human, those wet eyes were evidence, a vision of guilt and pain. Manipulation was an art, but with him it was almost too easy, it just had to take him back, and he broke. Reliving it, he broke every time.   
  
He knew it wasn't him, the demon had no hold over Solo's spirit. The boy had been innocent, he'd never killed anyone. His soul was in heaven now, out of reach of the evil one but even this knowledge didn't still the pain of seeing his visage. It used him so often, he should have been able to spot the flaws in the appearance, but it was so good. Those eyes were warm honey despite the icy being hiding behind them. The image flickered suddenly and he moaned, reeling away as blood trailed onto him. He hid his eyes, but the image was burned into them, fragments of bone and flesh, mutilated face unrecognizable. Hands gripped his face, turning him back and he couldn't help but look. The face was there again, the boy's brow smooth and pale, unmarred by the dark hole and gaping wound that had shown seconds before. Only the wide smile reminded him that it wasn't real. It moved toward him and he closed his eyes again, wincing back from the cold lips that pressed against him. He couldn't see, but he felt the scene change and he whimpered when he felt himself standing.   
  
The gun rose in his hand, his body lunging forward and his cries of denial were heard only in his mind. He shoved the boy back, and the explosion filled the small room, a dark circle placed in man's forehead. Tears welled in his eyes as he committed murder, and he leaned against the warm arms that circled him. The man crumpled against his desk, and Duo was turned away. He knew what was going to happen next, yet he couldn't do anything. As if he were cut into two, he watched with silenced cries at the same time as he felt a wave of relief that his friend hadn't been hurt by the man's attempt. He watched as Solo took the gun from his shaking hand, listened to the boy telling him it wasn't his fault. His eyes dropped, and Duo railed inside, screaming at himself to look up. But he didn't, no matter how many times he relived it, he couldn't change a thing.   
  
The blow knocked him to the floor. Then the boy was on him, rolling him onto his back, fingers curling around his neck. Solo's weight pressed down on him, and he couldn't breath, his hands pushing against the arm as his eyes flew over his friend's face. A part of him relived the confusion and rising horror, but the other half was staring at the gun. It was held even with the boy's shoulders, the barrel aimed at the ceiling. Slowly, it dropped, curved downward even as his gaze moved to the boy's shadowed eyes. Pain erupted when Solo shoved harder on his neck, and his vision blurred. Then it came, the bark of the gun, a shower of dampness, a dead weight falling onto him, and howls of fury in his mind as the demon had nowhere else to go.   
  
* * *   
  
"Why don't you wake him up?" The quiet sobs had grown, and Heero's eyes moved around the room. Trowa didn't glance at him, the tall boy lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was obviously used to it. Quatre was sitting up on his bed, but he couldn't see the boy's face as it was bowed, his arms wrapped around himself. Only Wufei looked at him, the Chinese boy seated with his back against the wall.   
  
"There's no need to whisper," Wufei said coldly. "He won't hear you. And he won't wake up."   
  
"Is he really asleep?" Heero blinked when Quatre's head snapped up, the boy's glare surprising him.   
  
"Do you think he's pretending?" Duo let out a sharp cry and Quatre flinched, looking over to see the boy turn onto his side, one arm thrown over his face. His anger left him, and he was about to drop his head when Heero stood.   
  
"People who hurt themselves do it for a reason," Heero said calmly. He crossed the space to the American's bed, his eyes sweeping over his blanketed form before resting on the boy's black-clad arm. Duo was shaking, small muffled sounds audible. That the boy wouldn't wake up was a sure sign, and he was certain the boy was faking it. He heard someone stand behind him, but he didn't hesitate as he pulled the boy's arm away. Duo turned his face towards him, then Heero was jerked back.   
  
"I told you he..." Wufei's words hung for a moment, then he caught sight of Duo's face and he wheeled Heero to face him. "What did you do?!" A thin trail of blood was emblazoned on Duo's face, smeared over his cheek. He wanted to blame the Japanese boy, but his arms fell and he knew Heero wasn't to blame. Leaning over the bed, he touched his hand to Duo's forehead, feeling for the cut. There wasn't one. "No wound." Heero's eyes met his and he glanced down, rubbing the blood between his fingers.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
Quatre had stood, and Wufei turned his head, taking in the boy's wide eyes. "I don't know, but this is new."   
  
"He's bleeding," Heero said. "I'm waking him up, if he's really asleep."   
  
"I am telling you, he won't wake up." The boy didn't so much as glance at him, and Wufei glared, not stopping him. Heero was shaking him, a method they'd tried countless times before without any results. And it wasn't working this time either. He was about to make him stop when Duo reeled against the bed, his hands curled in front of him.   
  
Duo's face was turning red, and Heero moved his hands away from him, his eyes wide. The boy's fingers were poised as if clutching something, and he wasn't breathing, his body jerking furiously. He was choking. "What..." Glancing over his shoulder, he found the other three surrounding him, and his eyes flitted from each. "What did I do?"   
  
"He can't breath!" Quatre lunged forward, but he was caught, Trowa holding him.   
  
"You might make it worse," the tall boy said, his calm monotone making the blonde glare at him.   
  
"I hate this! We should have just left him alone." A loud gasp sounded beside him, and he turned back to the bed, his mouth opening in shock. Duo's hands were limp on the bed, and he was breathing again, but his face was splattered with dark blood. "What's happening to him?!"   
  
The boy was sobbing, his expression one of misery and Heero shook his head, eyes narrow. "No more." Rather than acting as he had before, he looked to the boys first. "You said you tried to wake him before. Did this happen then?"   
  
"No," Wufei said, his voice soft. His eyes were frozen on Duo's blood-spotted face. "He just wouldn't wake."   
  
"I'm going to hit him."   
  
"What?!"   
  
Quatre was staring at him in outrage, but Heero was serious. "It's worth a try." Trowa nodded, and he stepped back to the bed. He didn't want to hurt him, but he slapped the boy hard enough for his head to turn toward them. And it worked. For a moment wide violet eyes snapped open, blinking quickly. Then the boy convulsed, his eyes clenched shut as his hands clutched his stomach. A low moan escaped him and he bent forward, his back leaving the bed. While he was startled, Heero didn't panic. He didn't know what was going on, but the boy's movements gave him an idea.   
  
Pushing on Duo's shoulders, he held him against the bed, his right hand pulling one of the boy's arms away from his stomach. The American struggled, then he let out another sharp cry and went limp, panting roughly. Heero looked at the hand he held, and he turned it, letting the others see the blood that covered the palm. The pale gray blanket that lay over him was spotless, and Heero stared at it for a moment, then peeled it back. He couldn't tell if the black shirt was wet or not, and his hand moved to pull it up when a hand caught his wrist. Then he was looking into wary and confused violet eyes.   
  
"What are you doing?" Duo asked, pushing himself up. His heart was pounding too fast, and he brushed his arm over his damp eyes before glancing at the three boys standing next to his bed. Then he looked at Heero. The boy was staring at him, as were the others.   
  
He didn't look to be in pain, but that wasn't what made Heero stare. The blood that had spotted his face was gone. Taking hold of the hand that gripped his wrist, he turned it, staring at Duo's palm. A shiver tapped its way down his back and he stood slowly.   
  
They were staring at him, even Trowa's eyes were wide. He wanted to pretend he didn't know what was wrong, but he couldn't lie to himself. //You might as well tell them, tell them who you are.// His eyes closed at the mocking taunt, and he swung his legs off the bed. They moved back as if afraid to touch him and his sight blurred, his breath catching painfully. //They *are* afraid. And they should be, right? After all, they've seen what *you* do to yourself.// Mocking laughter rang in his mind, and Duo fought the need to put his hands over his ears. //As far as they're concerned, you do it. And they're afraid, of what you might do to them. They don't want to die like Solo died.// His teeth clenched and he shook his head. "Stop it!" The voice was silent for a second, then soft laughter tickled in his mind, his eyes widening as he remembered where he was. His friends were staring at him as if they'd never seen him before.   
  
* * *   
TBC


	3. Part 3

Category: AU, Yaoi, Gundam Wing  
Warnings: hints of shonen ai, minor angst, slight violence  
Pairings: 5+2, 3+4/4+3, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x2x5, 3x4  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina  
  
Sufferance  
  
Part 3  
  
Duo breathed through his mouth, limiting the sounds he made so the room couldn't echo them. His eyes flicked to the mirrors on the right wall, then away again. Stalls lined the left side of the room, a bare wall blocked his way and he turned, his black shoes streaking the white floor. //Dead end, nice job.// His teeth clenched in anger, and he looked around again. There had to be some place to hide. //Why bother? All they want are answers.// For the first time in his memory, Duo actually listened to it, hesitating. //And to keep you where they can see you. Who would want a dangerous threat at their back?// A low growl escaped his lips, and Duo turned again, scanning the room. His eyes lit on the ceiling and he caught his breath. //Planning to hide in a dark hole? Oh, that is *perfect*.// Eyes narrowed to slits, Duo gripped the railing of the last stall, ignoring the voice as he hefted himself onto it.   
  
The thin metal creaked, but he shifted so his weight fell on the tall shafts that supported the doors. The ceiling was made up of square panels of some synthetic material, and the segment above him gave way with little pressure. It lifted, and he pushed it aside enough to leave a small gap. He couldn't hear anyone stirring in the interconnected rooms, but he wasn't willing to take any chances. Even if the demon was wrong, he knew Quatre would seek him out if only because the boy cared too much to be cautious. The boy's stricken expression had been enough to make him pause before bolting, but only momentarily. His fingers found a tenuous grip on the metal framing, but it was enough for him to pull his body upward. Standing on the balls of his feet, he reached a hand into the black space, a soft sigh brushing his lips when he didn't feel a ceiling.  
  
The segment wasn't strong enough to support him, but the squares were only thirty-six inches wide, and he crouched in the dark, his knees resting on the metal braces. A soft sound reached him as he was replacing the square, but the light was blocked off so he couldn't be sure. Palms pressed carefully on the metal supports, he listened, silencing his breathing as well as he could. //The lion, stalking. He is so quiet...and angry.// Duo shivered for a moment, then he glared, furious with himself. He wasn't afraid of Trowa, or any of them. //You should be. The serpent is revealed, the hunt has begun, and you hide in this black hole.// The abrupt laughter was so loud he flinched, then he glared darker. He was too angry, too hurt and emotional, he had to calm down and fast before he made a mistake. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that Trowa was in the room beneath him, for whatever reason. //Not just him, they're all looking for you. And they'll find you, there are only so many places to hide.//  
  
Its voice was soft, as if they were in confidence with each other. That meant it was enjoying itself. Despite his anger, Duo knew better than to let the opportunity pass. //Is he still there?// Silence met his directed thought, then he had the distinct impression that it grinned.  
  
//No, Duo, but he will be back. Do you want to know what he's thinking?//  
  
He did, but he wasn't willing to ask. He knew the demon too well, any information it gave him would hurt, and he wasn't sure he could take it. That was, of course, assuming it didn't lie. Instead, he focused on moving, his hand stretching to his left. The square he'd entered through had been a few feet from the wall, and he could feel hollow metal above him, some sort of duct maybe. He couldn't shift without making a bit of noise, but he believed that the boy was no longer beneath him. As he'd thought, the wall didn't extend into the space, and he stretched out on the thin partition that separated the toilets from the shower room. There was no way he'd risk sleeping, but he figured he might as well make himself comfortable. He couldn't hide forever, but he had to think of something to tell them. But he didn't even know what they'd seen that had frightened them so much.  
  
//They saw evil they were incapable of understanding, they saw *you*.//  
  
Lying on his side, Duo lowered his head, resting his cheek on his folded arm. //They saw something...but I didn't do anything to them. It must have been the dream. If my dreams were visible to them...but that wouldn't explain it. They would have seen something sooner, before now. What was different this time?// Cold anger seeped through his mind, and he was almost surprised by it.   
  
//He *hit* you.//  
  
Its voice was dripping with hate, more than he'd ever heard and Duo's eyes closed. //What difference would that make? I didn't wake up immediately, you pulled me back, stabbed me. Though I don't see why, asserting your power? I still woke up, is that it? No. I've woken up before.//  
  
//They never came close enough to see before. The only difference was him.//  
  
"Why are you so angry?" Duo whispered, his eyes opening to the black air. He wasn't afraid while he was awake, he knew he could silence it if he concentrated enough. But the horrible fury was too much to take, with his eyes closed and his attention focused inward. //Because you were interrupted?// Silence met him, and minutes passed before he realized it wasn't going to talk anymore. With no distractions, he set his mind to deciding what he was going to do. The only thing he could think of would be to tell them the truth, but that was the last thing he wanted to do.  
  
* * *  
  
Trowa was the last one to come back, and he shut the door quietly behind him. "Nothing."  
  
"This is impossible," Wufei spat, pacing the room. "We've checked everywhere."  
  
"Could he have gone into a different room?" Heero asked.  
  
"No. I checked the unoccupied rooms, there's no way he'd go into the occupied ones. We've checked all the wings, the cafeteria, the showers. I even looked in the courtyard! He can't have just vanished like this." Wufei paused when Quatre laid a hand on his arm, but he shook his head at the boy's comforting expression. "We must have missed something."  
  
"Let me walk the route again," Heero offered, "have someone stay here in case he comes back. Trowa, hold position in the hall between the mess area and the courtyard. Wufei, you take the opposite wing. If we're spread out, he'll hit us. Assuming he's still mobile, which would explain why we haven't seen him yet."  
  
"You're good," Trowa commented, nodding slowly. "I'll do it. Quatre can wait here."  
  
"If Quatre stays just outside the door, he can watch the right wing," Wufei argued, "I'm going with you."  
  
"Right."   
  
"If you find him," Quatre said, moving in front of the door, "just keep him there and get me, okay?" Heero gave him a nod before they left the room but he didn't fail to notice that Wufei hadn't agreed. But he doubted if they'd let him run again if they found him.  
  
* * *  
  
They both noticed the evidence at the same time, though Wufei was more certain that it was Duo who'd made the scuffmark. The boy's black shoes were familiar to him. Their eyes met, then Heero crouched on the floor, looking under the stalls without moving toward the wall. Shaking his head, he stood slowly and walked forward, Wufei following him till they were facing the last two stalls. They met with nothing when they looked inside, and Wufei started to curse but held off when Heero raised a hand to his mouth. At least, he thought he was motioning for silence until he saw the boy's finger was pointing upward.  
  
Looking up, Wufei's eyes crept over the low ceiling before he glanced back to Heero. The dark-haired boy was raising an eyebrow at him and he shrugged. Heero gestured to himself and he bent, offering him his cupped hands. The boy was light on his feet and he balanced well on the thin metal frame. He watched as Heero pressed his ear to the panel of the ceiling, frowning when the boy shook his head. It was an odd idea, and Wufei wouldn't have thought of it. That is, he wouldn't have expected Duo to think of it, he wasn't used to the idea of him having experience hiding. Then Heero pushed up one of the square segments.  
  
* * *  
  
//Someone's coming for you.//  
  
There hadn't been anything for minutes, and Duo flinched when that low voice sounded in his mind. //Is it them?//  
  
//There are security cameras in the halls, guess I should have told you sooner.//  
  
Duo's heart leapt into his throat and he didn't even have time to panic. His hiding place had been temporary, but now it was nothing more than a dark trap. He didn't have to ask to know what they would do with him if he was caught, and his breath caught painfully. //God! What do I do?!// He wasn't talking to the demon, and he knew better than to expect help from it, but he couldn't think clearly. The dark suddenly didn't seem as dark to him and he curled back farther along the solid wall beneath him, not knowing which direction they'd come from. A crack of light told him and he cringed back, closing his eyes.   
  
* * *  
  
Wufei didn't know what to make of it, one minute Heero was lifting the segment and the next he was on the floor in a shower of glass as every light in the room blew out at the same second. Crouching himself, he threw his arms over his head as the mirrors shattered, a few splinters cutting him. He didn't know what had hit him until he felt arms around his waist and he was shoved back just as the doors to the stalls slammed open, one falling onto his legs as it was torn off the frame. The light from the other room shone around the corner, giving a dim visual and they ducked under the sinks as the stall-frames seemed to curve outward, tearing from the wall with loud groans.  
  
"What the hell is this?!" Heero asked, his voice a rough whisper.  
  
"This is going to gain attention," Wufei said, his eyes wide as the metal pieces seemed to be separating themselves. The door that lay on the floor was clattering, rocking as if it were trying to stand up. That in itself was enough to make him grab Heero's arm and jerk the boy toward the exit. The moment they ducked into the hall the noises stopped, and Heero rocked back onto him with a startled cry. The bathroom looked as if nothing had happened and they stayed on the floor for long minutes. Then Wufei looked down at his arm and showed the small cuts to Heero.  
  
"No glass," Heero whispered, touching one of the dots of blood. "Do you think he's in there?"  
  
"That makes as much sense as anything else that's happened tonight." Wufei stood slowly, breathing deeply as he calmed his racing heart. He didn't spook, but that was something else. The Japanese boy had also gained his feet, and they approached the room together. Wufei half expected the room to revert to its torn state the moment they stepped into it, but nothing happened at all. Swallowing, he glared up at the ceiling. "Duo?" Silence met him and he looked at Heero. "Want to try that again?"  
  
"Not really," Heero admitted, "but I will."  
  
"I can go this time," Wufei said, but he was relieved when Heero shook his head.  
  
"One more time, then we change tactics." He really wasn't looking forward to a repeat performance. An enemy he could handle, but not one he couldn't see or comprehend. Wufei gave him a boost again but he hesitated this time, touching the segment he'd pushed on before. "It's like ice," he said, not bothering to whisper. Obviously Duo either couldn't hear them, or he wasn't willing to answer. Warning Wufei to be ready, he slammed his fist against the divider, not actually moving the segment. Almost simultaneously, the wide mirror cracked. "What now?"  
  
"Damnit Duo! We just want to talk to you!" Wufei ducked when the mirror shattered outward and he had to dive to the floor as a large shard somehow buried itself in the tile where he'd been standing. "Shit!"  
  
"This is too dangerous," Heero commented, his eyes on the ceiling above him. "Why would he want to hurt you?"  
  
"I don't know," Wufei whispered, still staring at the piece of glass. "I don't know anything. Maybe we should...leave him alone."  
  
"How is he doing it?"  
  
"Why are you asking me?" Wufei returned, staring up at the boy crouched near the ceiling. "Just get down, we have to try something else." Heero stared at him for a minute, then dropped lightly to the floor.  
  
* * *  
  
Someone was talking to him. The voice was soft, soothing, and he felt pulled toward it. His eyes opened to darkness, and he shivered as he found himself covered in a cold sweat. At first he didn't know where he was, then he remembered and his body tensed, his ears straining to hear what was being said. He couldn't quite make out the words, they were so soft, and he wondered why he'd thought the person was talking to him. Still, he inched forward, leaning close to the segments that separated him from the room below. The voice in his head was oddly silent and he blinked suddenly. "Quatre...?" The blonde boy gave a surprised gasp when he lifted the segment, and Duo grabbed his wrist, jerking him back so he wouldn't fall from his precarious perch.   
  
"Duo!" Quatre's eyes were wide as he looked up at the boy warily and he balanced himself against the wall. "Are you okay, Duo? Will you come down and talk to me? The others won't come in if you don't want them to."  
  
Duo blinked and leaned down, glancing at the room. He couldn't see anyone else and he frowned, longing to rub his forehead as he had a splitting headache. Quatre must have taken his silence as a no because the boy shook his head quickly.  
  
"You don't have to, I just want to make sure you're all right. I was worried about you. We didn't mean to scare you earlier."  
  
"Scare me?" Duo whispered, flushing with embarrassment. "I'm the one who scared *you* guys." His brows drew together, and he wondered if he'd fallen asleep or something. He remembered being terrified that he was about to be taken away, but evidently that hadn't happened. Quatre's eyes were damp, his face even paler than usual and Duo sighed. "Can you get down? Where's Trowa?"  
  
"We didn't want to startle you," Quatre said, glancing behind him, his hand tightening around Duo's wrist as he used the boy for an anchor. He couldn't see the boy, but he knew Trowa was just out of sight. "Can I call him?"  
  
"Sure," Duo said quickly, frowning when Quatre gave a sigh of obvious relief.   
  
"Trowa, it's okay to come in." The tall boy reached them within seconds, his long-legged gait making his progress quicker. Quatre gave him a grateful smile when he was lifted down, and he motioned for Trowa to step back as Duo lowered himself onto the metal frame. "Do you need help, Duo?"  
  
"I got it." Crouching for a moment, Duo gripped the edges of the hole as his vision swam briefly. Then he replaced the segment and dropped to the floor. The two boys moved back quickly and he winced. "I'm not going to attack you," he said lightly, a small forced smile not quite making it to his lips. Quatre looked at Trowa and he frowned, wondering what they were thinking. The demon had said they were afraid of what they'd seen during his nightmare, nothing more. Now, he wondered if it had been lying. "So why are the two of you here, if you're afraid of me?"  
  
"We were worried about you," Quatre said, laying a tentative hand on the boy's shoulder.   
  
"Yeah? Then where's Wufei? And Heero?" The blonde flinched, his pale blue-green eyes wary and Duo had a rush of cold over his back. "Quatre...did something happen? What's wrong?"  
  
"You don't remember?" Quatre asked, looking at Trowa again. "They're waiting, do you want to go back to our room? You don't have to talk if you don't want to."  
  
"No," Duo muttered, a wry smirk marring his face. "I pretty much figured I'd have to talk after I ran off earlier. But I wasn't sure if you guys were up to seeing me again. I know I wouldn't be."  
  
"Come on," Quatre said again, resisting the urge to put an arm around the boy. "Let's go back to our room."  
  
* * *  
TBC 


	4. Part 4

Category: Gundam Wing, Yaoi, AU  
Warnings: shonen ai, slight angst, reference to violence  
Pairings: 5+2, 3+4/4+3, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina  
  
Sufferance  
  
Part 4  
  
No one said a word when Duo entered the room, and his eyes moved from Heero to Wufei. The two boys were standing near the door, and they stepped back without too much haste as they made way for them. He expected to be greeted as even more of a pariah than before, but the only thing on Wufei's face was a hint of concern. And Heero's expression was nearly unreadable, though he had the feeling the boy was assessing him. Quatre and Trowa had followed a few feet behind him, and Duo turned to watch them shut the door. Then he went to his bed and sat down, curling his legs beneath him. Silence filled the room, which suddenly seemed smaller, then the others went to their beds and sat as well.  
  
"I guess it's time for me to come clean," Duo said slowly, blinking and looking down at his hands. He'd clenched them without even noticing, and his knuckles were turning white. No one said anything and he looked up suddenly, frowning at Wufei. "I don't hurt myself." The boy blinked, but Duo grimaced and dropped his eyes again. "Well, not the way you think I do. I don't know an easy way to explain, but the war was my fault."  
  
"Damn it, Duo-" Bright violet eyes cut him off, and Wufei glared but held his peace.  
  
"It's true," Duo murmured, nodding sharply. Feeling cold, he pulled his blanket up around his shoulders and scooted further onto the bed till his back touched the wall. "It sounds crazy, and I know you won't believe it...no one ever believed it until it was too late...but..." A shiver crept over him and he thought briefly of Solo. There was the one person who *had* believed him. The only person who had, and he was dead. "My fault..."  
  
The boy's head had fallen till his face was hidden and Quatre swallowed painfully. "Duo?" His friend looked up, and there was no pretense of a smile now, only wide dark eyes that seemed to fill his face.  
  
"Do you guys have any faith?"  
  
The question came as a surprise, but Quatre nodded quickly, glancing around. "I do."  
  
"I don't believe in God," Heero said coldly. Duo's eyes flicked to him, and he was nearly stunned by the brilliant smile the boy gave him.  
  
"You know, Heero? That almost makes it easier. I wish I didn't. But I do, I always have. When I was a kid I believed in angels, too. I used to watch for them." A small smile flicked over his lips, and Duo ducked his head again. "I thought if I spotted one it would stay with me, talk to me. I prayed a lot, I was raised in a church, but no one ever said anything back and I thought if I had my own angel it would be different." There was silence in his head, and Duo glared suddenly, looking at his friends again. "I don't believe in angels anymore, but I do believe in demons. There's a demon inside me. And six years ago It got out, that's why the war started."  
  
The boy was insane, that was the first thought to cross Wufei's mind. He didn't say it out loud, and after a few seconds he was glad he hadn't. Heero was staring hard at him, and he followed the boy's gaze to his arm where a few specks of red were still visible. As he'd said before, nothing made sense. And he didn't know anything. That meant he couldn't doubt what Duo was saying.  
  
"Duo...I don't understand." The boy snorted softly, and Quatre leaned forward where he sat on his bed. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, I just don't understand why a...demon...would be inside of *you*. Why? And how?"  
  
"That's the worst part," Duo nodded, his eyes dull yet glittering at the same time. "I invited It in. I don't think It had ever been inside a person until I asked It in. If I hadn't done that, the war would never have happened. No one would have had to die."  
  
"Why would you do that?" Quatre asked, not hiding his rampant confusion.  
  
"I was just a kid, I think I was five or six back then. I didn't know what It was. Like I said, I kept looking all over the place for angels. Father Maxwell, the priest who raised me, he said angels watched over everyone so long as they were good." Duo smirked at himself, remembering how naïve he'd been back then. "So I was always looking and one day I heard something that sounded like a person whispering. It was outside the church, near the wall whispering to itself. I should have known there had to be a reason It was *outside* the church, but I didn't. It talked to me, and It was so nice..."  
  
"And you thought it was an angel." Heero didn't really believe anything Duo was saying, but he took it on face value. Duo obviously believed it, and something had manifested itself inside the bathroom. He wouldn't start picking the story about until the boy had told everything. "So you invited it in."  
  
"Yeah, but not at first. At first It just sort of followed me around, just like a guardian angel was supposed to. It's ironic, but that spirit...demon, whatever It is, It confirmed my faith in God. I'd been so good, and then I found It just like the Father said. It wasn't until I heard a sermon about invoking the holy-spirit that I even thought of inviting It into me. But I did it. *I* gave It a host. It still talked to me after that, and It said I was the first person It had ever been inside of. I thought It meant it had just come from heaven and I was its first. I was so stupid."  
  
"You were five then?" Wufei asked, frowning at the longhaired boy. "This was four *years* before the war started? What happened before then?"  
  
"At first, things were just like they were before, except It was always with me. It would listen to the sermons and talk to me about them. It was so curious about everything. It said it didn't remember anything before it met me, and it enjoyed experiencing life through me. We were practically friends..." Wufei and Quatre were staring at him, and he smirked at their dubious expressions. "I know, I don't know why it was so nice at first. I think It started to change when I had my first penance. It was so angry at the priest for hitting me, and I tried to explain about sins, but it wouldn't listen. I'd never seen It angry before, and it scared me a lot." Duo blinked, knowing how weak that made him sound, but he was weak. "I think that was the first time I wondered if It really were an angel. I didn't understand why an angel wouldn't know about penance and paying for sins. We argued for a while, then it stopped talking to me for nearly three years. I thought it was gone, but it wasn't."  
  
"It spent three years inside you without saying a word?" Heero asked, not hiding his disbelief.  
  
"It's very patient," Duo said solemnly. "I was eight when it finally talked to me again, and I remember it nearly scared me to death. Then I remembered, but it was angry again. Father Maxwell decided I was too old not to be going to school, and I was an awkward kid. I got teased a lot because of my clothes, and my hair. You know how kids are. Well, it got bad one day after school and some bullies beat me up on my way home. It was so mad at them, and it tried to make me hurt them back. I'd never felt anything like that before, and now I know it was trying to come forward, to control me. Of course, I wouldn't let it, and then it got mad at me, too. But I was able to hold myself, even then I was stronger than it was. It wanted to *kill* them. That's when I knew it wasn't an angel, or even a spirit. I still didn't know how bad it was that I'd invited it in, but I knew It was a demon.  
  
"Over the next year, It worked on me. It kept telling me how easy it would be to get rid of the people who hurt me, to kill them. I remember I tried to explain about it being a sin to kill, and it was very clever, even then. It actually used the sermons we'd been to, reciting parts of the bible like 'an eye for an eye.' At first it was mostly mad at those kids, every time I saw them it would start pushing at me. But after a while it started to get angry at everyone who was even a little mean to me. If a teacher gave me a bad grade it would curse about how she should die. It just got crazy with the idea of killing, it wanted everyone to die after a while. Then, one day, I guess it got tired of arguing with me, and it said that if I was so weak I couldn't bear to kill then I should die, too. That's when I decided to get help.  
  
"By then, I'd realized it was my fault for inviting it into me, and I decided I should confess. I don't really know what I expected, but I *had* sinned, and confession and penance were supposed to cleanse people of their sins. So I went to confession. I remember, it laughed at me the entire way there. It was so loud in my mind I could barely hear anything else, but I tried to ignore it as much as possible. I confessed, but the priest didn't believe me..."  
  
Two minutes passed before Wufei shifted, uncomfortable with the silence. He could tell from the way Duo had wrapped his arms around himself that he was either hurting physically or emotionally, but he couldn't think of anything to do about it. "Duo?" The boy didn't look up, but his body gave a small shake, then he continued, his voice echoing with a new dullness.  
  
"He thought I was lying, and it would have been a horrible thing to lie in confession if I were lying. I wasn't, but I don't blame him for thinking that I was. That was the worst punishments I'd ever had." Duo smirked, a soft breath escaping his lips that was almost a laugh. "And I didn't even deserve it. The demon was quiet throughout the entire thing, but the moment the priest made me leave, it started up. It was disgusted with me, for being so weak that I hadn't held to the truth. I didn't know it then, but it had no problem with the priests knowing about its presence. It was angry that I'd yielded so easily. Then it started trying the same thing on me. It said if I would give in to the priest I would give in to it, too. That's when it started to hurt me, trying to get its way, to get me to let it kill. I had no idea how much power I held over it. But I wasn't even nine yet, I couldn't take more than a few days of it. I decided to go somewhere else for help.  
  
"For as long as I can remember, Father Maxwell was the one supervising me, he was the one who raised me more than any of the other priests. So I went to him, and I told him everything. And he sent me back to confession."  
  
"No..."  
  
Duo raised his head, giving a pained smile to Quatre. It was nice to have someone sympathize with him, but he didn't deserve it. "I didn't *have* to go. It was my choice. And he had a good argument. I know he thought I was making it up, I knew that then, too. He said that God *does* sometimes punish people through pain, but that I shouldn't hurt myself. He thought the same thing as Wufei." The black-haired boy looked away sharply, and Duo shook his head. "It's okay. Father Maxwell told me that I was probably feeling guilty over something and that this demon I imagined was really myself trying to punish the sins I was unable to confess. If I confessed them, I could receive God's punishment and I wouldn't hurt anymore. It may sound strange now, but it made sense to me then. So I went back, and I don't think I've ever been braver than I was back then. It was the same priest from the last time, and I knew he wouldn't believe me that time either. But I didn't want the demon to be right. I didn't want to give in because of a little pain. I was so determined to tell the truth and have it believed.  
  
"I think the beating went on for nearly thirty minutes before I snapped. It wasn't even the demon, I just got so angry at the man. I was frustrated. You have to understand, I hadn't been able to sleep for days, and It tormented me all the time. And...the priest kept telling me not to lie. I never lie. So I got angry and I screamed at him. He was using a rod, and I remember I grabbed it and I think that surprised him, he wasn't expecting it. But he shoved me off and I hit the edge of the box so hard that I couldn't think for a minute. That was all It needed. The next thing I knew I was on top of the priest and I was strangling him. But it wasn't me, I never could have had the strength to do that. The demon had come forward, and I almost killed the man before I finally got control again. I don't remember much that happened after that, but I think the priest knocked me out.  
  
"That's when the end came. The priest told Father Maxwell what I'd said and how I'd attacked him, and the others started to talk about an exorcism. But only a few actually believed I was possessed. They *did* think I was dangerous, though, and they had me restrained. I'm not sure how long that lasted, probably for a month or so. They kept me tied in a room for a long time, and It went crazy with hate for everyone, mostly me. That's when it wanted out. It wanted to kill the priests, but it didn't plan to stop there. It told me how it would kill everybody, and I knew it was my fault. I was so miserable, and it used my guilt, but pain was easier. I can't remember everything it did to hurt me, but the more it did, the weaker my control was. It started to do things outside of me. It could move things. Not people, just objects, but that was enough to tell me how powerful it was and I tried to control it as much as possible. But the priests could see my bruises, the cuts, and they knew I hadn't done it, not with my hands tied up. So they called an exorcist in, and after a while he came.  
  
"I was so tired by then, I could hardly sleep at all, it was so desperate to get out, and I didn't even know who the man was until I realized the demon was speaking through me. I tried to tell him not to do it, but It controlled him somehow. That was the first time it had been able to control a human, but the man started to say something. He was reading from a book, I don't think it was the bible. Everything was so confusing after that. I remember trying to hold it down, to keep it from getting out where it could hurt and kill people. I used every bit of energy I had, and I could hear it screaming outside of me, not quite free. Then I couldn't see anything and there was an explosion. The next thing I remember, it was gone and the priest who'd done the exorcism was dead. That's when the war started."  
  
"And this demon is the reason for the war?" Quatre asked, wetting his lips as he tried to hide his nervousness. The story was too farfetched. It was unbelievable. But so was the story Heero and Wufei had told about the bathroom.  
  
"The war didn't hit the church while I was still there," Duo said, "but I left eventually. I know it got stronger from being inside of me, it had never been able to touch things physically before it met me. I know now that it jumped from person to person, going for those with military power. It could have killed everyone itself, but that would have taken much longer. You guys know how the war went, nuclear weapons showed up *everywhere* and were used all over the world. The reason so many countries had them was because It controlled people in America and other countries, It sent those weapons to underdeveloped countries, then went there and made people use them. I guess It could have simply had people bomb themselves, but this way other countries retaliated without It having to be there. It was merely a catalyst at first, then it was the oxygen feeding the fire, keeping the war going."  
  
"Why did the war end, then?" Heero asked, his expression blank. "And why did you say the demon is inside of you *now*?"  
  
"That's *why* the war ended. I spent two years chasing the thing. Every time we got close to it, it would kill the person it was inside of and jump to someone else. Finally...it..." Duo's face went ashen, and he tightened his fists for a second before shaking his head. "It didn't have anywhere to go except inside me. And that's why it's there now. The reason I have bruises isn't because I hurt myself, it's because I will *never* let it go again, and it knows that."  
  
"And your nightmares?" Quatre asked softly. He didn't want to, his mind rebelled against it, but he couldn't help but believe the boy. He did believe him.   
  
"I never slept much as a kid, so I don't know if things were different then, but now it takes me places when I'm asleep. I don't have any control when I'm asleep, so that's when it works on me the most. I don't know what you guys saw earlier, but it's never done anything to anyone but me when I'm asleep. And most of that isn't real anyway."  
  
"We saw blood," Heero commented, "but nothing happened to any of us while you were dreaming. And the blood disappeared when you woke up."  
  
"Oh. Well, I guess that's not so bad, then. I mean, I'm sorry for scaring you guys, but I thought it was worse than that. When I'm asleep it has control. The only thing it can't do is get free."  
  
"It tried to kill you?"  
  
Duo blinked in surprise, looking over at Trowa. The tall boy had been completely silent up until now, and he gave a tiny smile for the boy's straightforward expression. "That was a mistake on its part. I guess it's tied to me so much that if I die, it goes to hell with me. It's never tried to kill me since then, and it's been careful lately not to do anything too damaging. Most of my injuries are just in my dreams."  
  
"What happened in the bathroom?" Wufei shook his head at him, but Heero's eyes were on Duo. "Quatre said you don't remember."  
  
"I..." Duo stared at the boy for a moment, then looked at Quatre. "Something happened?"  
  
"Wufei and Heero went in there, and they touched the ceiling where you were hiding. Do you remember that?" Quatre could tell from the way the boy's eyes widened that he didn't.  
  
Fear was creeping over him again, and Duo's head snapped over so he could look between Heero and Wufei. "You guys found me? You...you didn't push on the segment...that wasn't you..." His throat was closing on him, and he winced when a throaty chuckle resounded in his mind. "No...what happened?"  
  
"So you do remember."  
  
"I thought it was..." Duo blinked quickly as his eyes grew damp. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what happened, but I thought it was the adults. There are cameras in the halls and when I learned that I thought the person pushing on the segment was one of them. I thought they were going to lock me up, I panicked..."  
  
"The mirrors and the lights shattered," Heero said calmly, his voice matter-of-fact as if he hadn't been cowed by the phenomena. "And the stalls bent outward. When we reached the hall everything had gone back to normal. We tried again, and Wufei called to you that time. The mirror broke again and that's when we went to get Quatre." The violet-eyed boy looked as if he wanted to curl up in a corner, and Heero was glad he'd decided to leave out the part about the large chunk of glass that had nearly skewered Wufei. Duo didn't look as if he could take that bit of information at the moment.  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
"It's not your fault," Wufei said roughly, shooting a glare at Heero. "If you don't remember anything, then it must have been the demon."  
  
"You believe me?!"  
  
Duo's eyes were so wide, his shock evident, and Wufei was taken back by it. Sure, he'd doubted the story at first, but it was the only explanation they had and Duo obviously had gone through a traumatic experience. If what he'd told them was true, then he needed to be believed. Wufei would give him that. "Yes, I do."  
  
"Of course," Quatre said quickly. "You never lie." The boy blinked once, then a smile curved his lips, lighting up his face in a way he'd never seen before. "Trowa?"  
  
"What he says makes sense in a way, and I see no reason to doubt him. Faith and spiritual beliefs aside, there are many unexplained things in this world. A demon does explain the war."  
  
Heero stared at the tall boy for a long moment, taking in his conviction. "Right." There was no evidence to disprove what Duo had said, and there was *plenty* of evidence to substantiate his story. "There is nothing to disprove you," he said to Duo.  
  
"That doesn't mean I'm telling the truth," Duo said slowly, his smile calming some. He didn't blame the boy for being cautious, and he was still elated that his new friends believed him.   
  
"You said you don't lie," Heero returned, raising an eyebrow. Duo's eyes narrowed for a second, then he nodded sharply.  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
* * *  
TBC 


	5. Part 5

Category: Anime, Gundam Wing, Yaoi, AU  
Warnings: shonen ai, slight angst  
Pairings: 5+2, 3+4/4+3, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina  
www.fanfiction.net under Arigatomina  
  
Sufferance  
  
Part 5  
  
Brown sand didn't glow in the moonlight the way white sand would have, but there were lights on the fence, enough to illuminate the large yard. The metal chain-link fencing was fifteen feet high and lined with barbed wire, five hundred volts of electricity preventing anyone from climbing in or out. But no one had tried to escape since Duo had arrived, and he was sure the fence worked more to keep people out, rather than in. The yard didn't sport grass in the arid climate, but there were tables set out, small shelters that reminded him of the ones in public parks. He sat on the table of one such shelter, his legs folded under him as he faced the flat, dark expanse of desert. They really had picked a marvelously isolated place. It made him wonder what state they were in.  
  
//Nevada.//  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Duo cocked his head to the side, his arms tightening around himself. "Texas, maybe."  
  
//This is Nevada.//  
  
"Arizona," Duo continued, nodding his head sharply. "Yeah, that sounds about right."  
  
//What are you playing? How long do you think this can last?//  
  
The voice was soft, unconcerned, and carefully void of any threatening tone. Duo smirked. "To think I used to miss this, it's so pretty at night. The moon really looks brighter without all of the streetlights." A low growl whispered in his ear, but it was almost too quiet for him to hear. If anything, it made him come close to forgetting his anger. It wasn't often that he held the upper hand over the demon. But it knew better than to push him now. He was more awake than he'd been in days; caffeine really was a wonderfully addictive drug. "What's the point in sleeping, anyway? So many hours wasted for nothing."  
  
"Is this a better way to spend your time?" Wufei's lips twitched when the longhaired boy nearly fell off the table, turning so fast. But he didn't smile, lifting a cup by way of greeting as he moved to sit beside Duo. "Coffee?"  
  
"Don't mind if I do," Duo said lightly, flashing his friend a smile.  
  
"Are you really planning to stay awake indefinitely? You'll just make yourself sick trying." Dark eyes flicked away from him and Wufei turned his gaze to the desert visible outside the fence.  
  
"Don't get me wrong," Duo muttered, pausing to take a drink from the mug. "I'm not stupid enough to think I can just stop sleeping. Just consider this a test."  
  
"Quatre's worried." It was cooler than the daytime and Wufei leaned forward on his knees, his white shirt not keeping out the breeze. The boy was looking at him again and he frowned at Duo's dark expression.  
  
"So you're not the only one up." Duo turned toward the doors, glaring at the dark wall of the facility. "I can't stop Quatre from worrying, but I didn't expect the rest of you to."  
  
"What are you planning?" Wufei asked, his voice quiet. They were allowed to roam freely, but he remembered what the boy had said about cameras. It made him uneasy.  
  
"Planning?"  
  
"What are you going to do about this?" Wufei qualified, frowning when the boy turned wide eyes on him.  
  
"There isn't anything to *do* about it," Duo said, "don't you think I would have done something before now if there was? If you want to know what I'm planning right now, I plan to drink a shit load of coffee and pay the bastard back for earlier. Then, I'm going to get myself a room and sleep for a few weeks."  
  
"You already *have* a room," Wufei reminded him, his eyes narrow. "But what do you mean, pay it back?"  
  
"Well, it doesn't have control when I'm focused, I'm stronger then." Duo smirked suddenly, clamping down on the voice that tried to argue with his words. "You might say I'm giving it the silent treatment. Believe it or not, but it usually hates that. I may not be able to stay awake forever, but I figure a few days should be enough."  
  
"And then what? Won't that just make it angry?" Wufei glared when the boy shrugged and turned away from him. "So you're going to make it angry on purpose. What do you think is going to happen when you're too weak to stay awake?"  
  
"Don't worry," Duo said softly, grabbing the cup and hopping to his feet. "I told you guys earlier, it won't kill me. Lately what happens in my dreams is gone when I wake up. And as long as I'm no where near you guys, there's no problem." He didn't glance back as he walked to the doors, but he heard Wufei jump to his feet and he paused, waiting for the teenager to catch up.  
  
"Nothing happened to *us* when you were dreaming," Wufei said quickly, catching Duo's arm. The boy tensed and he let go quickly, his hands curling into fists. "You don't have to isolate yourself to protect us. And your idea of revenge on the thing is flawed, Duo. You have to realize that staying awake for so long just means you'll sleep longer when you break. I admit, we haven't had any luck waking you from your nightmares before, but you *did* wake up this time. If we're there, we can wake you up when things get bad."  
  
"Do you know what happened when I woke up?" Duo asked, not looking to the boy standing behind him. "It stabbed me...and *twisted* the knife. Believe me, I'd rather have kept sleeping."  
  
"Then we won't wake you up! That still doesn't mean we're going to leave you to that thing by yourself. Duo, we're not going to let you move out."  
  
There was something about the Chinese boy's voice, a ring of familiarity that sent a cold chill down Duo's back. His eyes narrowed and he could tell the demon was paying close attention. But he couldn't help the feeling. "We...or *you*...?" He turned sharply, taking in Wufei's startled expression. Dark eyes blinked at him and he moved away, grabbing the door. "Don't get attached to me, Wufei. Friends of mine...people close to me have a habit of changing...or dying."  
  
Wufei jerked when the boy stepped into the building. "Duo-"  
  
"I'll be in the cafeteria," Duo called, not slowing as he walked down the hall. "Get some sleep. I'll see you guys in the morning."  
  
* * *  
  
The cafeteria stayed lit at all hours and Duo took his usual seat. They had access to the kitchen despite the fact that meals were prepared in a room adjoining the main one. The door to that area was sealed, though, and they never saw the people who cooked for them. Not that he'd ever wondered about it. As far as he was concerned, it didn't matter who cooked so long as it wasn't him. The coffee dispenser was constantly full, and that was all he cared about. An hour passed as he sat, keeping an eye on the doorway that led to the dormitory. But it seemed Wufei had delivered his message. Hopefully he wouldn't be getting any more concerned visitors.  
  
//They're still awake, talking about you and your plan.//  
  
Duo was half tempted to silence the thing, display his power over it, but he didn't want to do that. Then he'd be admitting he was listening. Instead, he leaned comfortably against the table, sighing as his eyes slid over the wide room.  
  
//You can't ignore me. Wufei is right, you don't want to make me angry, Duo.//  
  
That didn't deserve a response even if he'd been willing to talk to it and Duo rested his chin in his folded hands. He was already tired, as if the caffeine had reached its limit and was now having the opposite effect. But he'd never fallen asleep with his eyes open so he wasn't that worried.  
  
//He isn't like Solo, Duo. I can read his thoughts the same as I can yours and you're wrong about that. You said you don't hate him, but I already knew that. It isn't *his* attachment that worries you, it's your own. You're getting attached again. It makes things so much easier for me. Whether he acts on the thoughts running through his head doesn't matter when I know your feelings. You're so desperate it's sickening. Your need for comfort, but it's more now. Do you know? Solo never saw you as anything but the little brother he never had. You blame me for his death almost as much as you blame yourself, but it was his choice. He thought I planned to kill you. Neither of you was supposed to die, certainly not him. Believe me, I would have rather he lived. I never thought I'd have more people to use on you.//  
  
Duo's eyes narrowed for a moment before he calmed his anger. He wouldn't let it affect him, not this time. It was quite talkative now that he refused to hold a conversation with it. If it wanted to talk so badly, he'd let it. After all, it *would* help him pass the time.  
  
//Pretend you aren't interested if you have to, but we both know differently. It's too late to try and push them away from you now. Trowa is the only one you could try with and he would never ignore the pain of Quatre's friend. You do know about them, don't you? I thought so. If you hold out long enough, he'll form his own bond, but Quatre already cares deeply about you.//  
  
His mouth opened, but he clenched his teeth shut almost immediately, his eyes narrowing again. It wasn't telling him anything. Of course Quatre cared about him, that was common knowledge. In which case, he shouldn't be bothered by it. Staring at his hands, Duo blinked a few times before relaxing again. He *wasn't* bothered by it.  
  
//Wufei, then. Do you know you might be his first friend? You aren't the only one who had a lonely childhood. He never had someone to talk to the way you did, ungrateful as you are. He's been drawn to you since the first time you met, but he isn't like Solo, no, he's very different from Solo. I think I'll let him live. Want to know why? Stubborn. But I'll tell you. He's more use to me alive. I might even use him after you give in. You think I'm just trying to anger you, I can tell. You're wrong, though, you *will* give in eventually. You'll regret this when you fall asleep, Duo. It just gives me time to make my *own* plans. Wufei has such potential. He thinks he's so good at hiding things, I like him as much as you do, though in a different way, of course. As old as I am, I still have much to learn about you humans. If it weren't for him, I might have missed the changes in you.//  
  
He didn't know what it was talking about, but his silence was hard to hold onto. Questions were trying to form in his mind and he was close to shutting it out. Giving in wasn't something he worried about, he was confident in his own will power, but he couldn't fight the foreboding that bubbled up at its words. Wufei *was* the optimum choice, though, he'd give it that much. Actually, he had expected that much sooner.  
  
//And you'll get exactly what you'd expected, but so much more than that, Duo. You have no idea what I'm planning to do. I do so enjoy surprising you. You may know the form, but not the method... Yes, you're right. You don't have to ask the question, Duo. I know you're determined not to speak to me, but I can read it in your mind. Do you think you can hide *anything* from me? You're smarter than that. I *have* left one out. But that's because he doesn't matter. I'm going to kill him.//  
  
"Why?! He doesn't even *know* me!" His voice echoed in the room and Duo nearly winced to hear it. He hadn't meant to speak to the damned thing, but that short phrase had shocked him with the pure ice in the tone.   
  
//Why don't I play with him like the others? It doesn't matter why, Duo. I've already decided. He dies.//  
  
Confusion widened his eyes and Duo stared at his hands. They were shaking. It had to be tormenting him, surely that was why it planned to kill Heero. There was no other reason. The others were close to him so it would play with them, drawing out their pain to add to his. He barely knew the Japanese boy so the best way to hurt him would be to add his new friend's death to his already overburdened conscience. Duo blinked when a growl sent shivers down his back.  
  
//He isn't worth using to get to you. He'll die because I *want* to kill him, not to add to your ridiculous notion of guilt. I only tell you his fate because his name was in your mind. Wipe it away. Don't bother getting to know him. Spare yourself that pain, I'll give you enough with the others. There's no need to make it worse, believe me, what I plan is bad enough.//  
  
He'd already broken his pledge not to speak to it and Duo glared at his hands, his voice cold. "The why *does* matter. Why him? If it isn't to hurt me, then why? What makes you hate him so much? I thought you were beyond such *human* feelings."  
  
//Make no mistake, Duo, I have no feelings such as yours. I don't hate him. I will peel the skin off his hand, strip by strip, break every bone, and extract the shards through his flesh. His actual death will be even slower. Yes...shudder, Duo, it will be severe. Buy you see, don't you? I don't hate him. It is so much more than hate. There is no comparison.//  
  
"But *why*?"  
  
//It doesn't matter. Accept it, and keep your distance.//  
  
* * *  
TBC 


End file.
